Terrified

Father's Day weekend was the annual jello shot party at a couple friend's house. There were about 50 us and we consumed over 700 shots. I went over the night before and between the wife, her friend and I, we knocked out 650 in 5.5 hrs. That night several of us who are married or engaged were all hanging out together and made a "pact" to all get pregnant next year after the party so for the 11th annual party we'd all be able to drink. The wife walked in on our conversation and we tried to get her to join us. She's been married the longest and she's the most maternal so were trying to get her in on it. She told us we were all crazy. The husbands also kind of backed away from the conversation like we were crazy.

Last night we attended their vow renewal. There were about 60-70 of us between her friends and family. They will be celebrating 5 years of marriage tomorrow.  They had decided every 5 years to do a vow renewal. Saturday when I was at her house making cupcakes for the party, I was teasing her saying at the next party her kids could be the ring barrer/flower girl. She found this hysterical and asked when she should get started on kids to have them old enough. Her other friend who was there said we'd give them 3 months.  Last night they announced they're expecting in February. We're all very excited for them but part of me is also terrified.

In our group of friends, 5 of us are married couples. We've joking talked about all having babies together. My husband hates this because he thinks the idea of waiting for one couple to plan their family should have nothing to do with us. One of the girls said last night she'd take her early childhood teaching degree and open up a daycare out of her house for us all to drop our kids off at. She has a finished basement and they live near us. Plus knowing the lady taking care of our kids would be helpful and she could quit her teaching job and make money.  She keeps bugging her husband that she wants to have babies. He keeps ignoring her lol. I know we're all going to grow up and have babies but I'm scared. I've never had a maternal bone in my body. I like the idea of kids, I think, but the puking, late nights, potty training and all the other gross parts of having a kid are scary.  But then there are the fun parts-holidays together, building memories as a family, teaching our kids, the giggles, the hugs, and passing down traditions are awesome. And as weird as it sounds, I like think about Miranda from Sex and the City and how she never thought about kids until she had one.

My husband wants kids and he's just waiting on me. The thought of being pregnant also weirds me out. Surrogates are expensive and my husband really isn't into adoption unless we don't have any other options. But I've been told feeling a baby moving inside you is the most incredible feeling ever. And labor?? Ahh! As it stands right now, I had spinal surgery when I was 11 and I have a tumor around my spine so I don't know what kind of pressure adding a baby would do. We need to talk to a high risk ob-gyn and see what he says. And I have no idea how to talk to my husband about this.