Looking Back

Sometimes when I think back to some of the things I did when I was younger, I have realized how very lucky I am.

I was very shy when I was younger and found it much easier to make friends online rather than in real life. In real life you aren't looking at someone and can say things you may not say in person just because you are much more comfortable. Also, when talking with members of the opposite sex, you can't see each other and prejudge the other person.

Anyway, one college winter break I struck up a conversation with someone I met in a local chat board. He was about my age, friendly and very easy to talk to. After a week or so, I gave him my phone number (!!). After a month (winter breaks were 4-5 weeks), we met in person and he gave me flowers. He was also emailing me on almost a daily basis with song lyrics that remind him of me prior to meeting in person. A week or so after I returned back to school, I thought it would be a great idea to have him come up to meet me and take me back to his house for the night. We slept in separate beds but it was just him and I alone in his house together (!!!). The only person who knew I was doing this was my roommate and as a freshmen, no one had a car so trying to get to me would have been extremely different. I was also almost an hour away from campus.

Now granted, he turned out to be a very nice guy (whom I am no longer in contact with) however, really spending the night at some guys house, alone, who I had only known a month?? He wasn't a very small person (built like a football player) and could have easily overpowered me if he wanted to. Not one of my brightest moves. In general I have been very lucky with the people I have met online and then met in person. One of them I met when I was 17 and we are still friends 12 years later. Aside from my husband, he's been the one constant, non-family man in my life.

Back in high school, I had this one friend I had met at work. Our birthdays were only a few days apart and we had a lot in common. However, her car only sat two people and often, there would be three of us in her car. I sat on the floor on the passenger side. One night, while speeding, she lost control of the car and we swerved off the road. Thankfully we came to a stop and there was little damage to the car and ourselves. Because I didn't want my parents to get mad, I didn't tell them. Pretty sure I hit my head on my dashboard because when I woke up the next day, I was slightly dizzy. Yes, I probably went to bed with a very mild concussion that night.

I'm a very lucky, very blessed girl. I've never been in a situation where I have been truly scared and I hope I never am. And looking back now with more wisdom and experience, I realize that the outcomes could have been very different.